BIPOC Voices in Nonmonogamy

Note: This blog post was written in the summer of 2020, shortly after the horrific murder of George Floyd in my hometown of Minneapolis. I am committed to keeping this page updated and current and will continue to do so for as long as this blog is active. Last updated: 7/16/2022.

It hasn’t felt right to blog about relationships lately, but you know… many of us are still engaging in them, building them, ending them, seeking them. Today’s post isn’t going to be about me, or anything I’m doing or thinking. I’m not qualified to write about the intersection of race and polyamory, but I can learn and share what I’ve found valuable.

White folks actively marginalize people of color. In order to not participate in that, whites need to actively center people of color. Inaction supports the status quo, and the status quo is racist. My blog is not a very large platform, but I’m going to use it to elevate the voices of some of the BIPOC members of the non-monogamous community that I respect and learn a great deal from. 

You haven’t explored the ethically non-monogamous community much if you haven’t run into the name Kevin Patterson. A community leader and author from Philadelphia, Patterson has practiced ethical non-monogamy since 2002 and since 2015 has maintained the interview-based blog Poly Role Models. He also recently published the book Love Is Not Colorblind: Race and Representation in Polyamorous and Other Alternative Communities.

You can check out his amazing blog here:

And purchase his equally amazing book, here:

Patterson was also featured on a podcast I am rather fond of. Here’s the episode: Poly In The Cities – Episode 49

The Critical Polyamorist, AKA Kim TallBear, blogs & tweets about indigenous, racial, and cultural politics related to open non-monogamy. She is a prairie loving, big sky woman. She lives south of the Arctic Circle, in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada.

Currently she writes at Unsettle:

Her blog archive is still available here:

You can follow her on Twitter @CriticalPoly & @KimTallBear

If you find yourself on Facebook exploring groups related to ethical non-monogamy, you may have had the pleasure of seeing content from Lavitaloca Sawyers. This woman’s emotional intelligence seems effortless, and I’ve never watched a video of hers and not learned a thing or two about myself and what I could be doing better.

Here’s her Facebook page. Check out the videos for sure!!

She is also very active on Instagram: Lavitaloca34

Jai blogs at The Adventures of a Black Poly Babe, and they just started a podcast in early 2022 with their meta, Dre: Autonomously Poly on Spotify.

Black & Poly is an online magazine you should be reading. 

Consensual non-monogamist, Kimmy J., created a deck of polyamory focused conversation cards that are available on her website: UnCovered Conversations – they even have a solo-poly expansion pack!

Other podcast episodes addressing the intersection of polyamory and race:

A Touch Of Flavor – Episode 72

A Touch of Flavor – Episode 41

If you have a resource you appreciate that you would like me to include, shoot me an email; will also continue to keep this list updated.

Photo by Ameen Fahmy on Unsplash

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