In reality, my blog is a collection of personal essays on both interpersonal relationships and the one we have with ourselves. This index is my attempt to organize these essays in a useful way.
Autonomy
- Building Obstacles to Autonomy
- Expect Autonomy
- Privacy is a Fundamental Right in Relationships
- Relationship Anarchy . . . huh?
Boundaries/Agreements
- Finite Resources in Relationships
- Great Sexpectations
- Negotiating New Relationships
- Refining Personal Boundaries
- Rules vs. Boundaries
- Secrets and Security
- The Need to Know
- What’s Considered “Cheating” in Non-Monogamy?
Coming Out
- Coming Out as Non-Monogamous
- Desperately Seeking Normal
- Secrets and Security
- Telling The Kids
- When to Disclose
- Your Doctor Needs to Know
Compersion
Conflict
- Acting out of Trust vs. Fear
- Courageous Conversations
- Mismatched Desire
- Pitfalls of Passive Communication
- Punishment is not a Component of Forgiveness
- Receiving “Open, Honest Communication” Takes Courage
- Secrets and Security
- What’s Considered “Cheating” in Non-Monogamy?
- Words and Actions
- Your Metamour is Not the Problem
Critical Reviews
Dating
- Chemistry vs. Compatibility
- Dismantling Romantic Relationship Primacy
- Established Relationship Energy
- Great Sexpectations
- How Do I Manage My Partner’s Jealousy?
- Is Dating Harder for Men in Non-Monogamy?
- Negotiating New Relationships
- New Relationship Energy
- Polysaturation: Do I Have Enough to Give?
- Privacy is a Fundamental Right in Relationships
- What Do I Ask a Potential New Partner?
Emotions
- Feelings Are Not Facts
- Forgiving Yourself in Relationships
- Gratitude
- How Do I Manage My Partner’s Jealousy?
- It Might Be Grief
- Pocket Monster: Envy
- Punishment is not a Component of Forgiveness
- Scarcity Language
- Sometimes I’m Lonely
- The Big Ask
- The Heart is a Muscle
- When It’s Complosion, Not Compersion
Family
Healthy Relationships
- Dismantling Romantic Relationship Primacy
- Established Relationship Energy
- Finite Resources in Relationships
- Friends With My Exes
- Great Sexpectations
- Honesty Doesn’t Hurt Me
- Mismatched Desire
- Meant To Be
- Negotiating New Relationships
- New Relationship Energy
- Partnership
- Perspectives on Special
- Pitfalls of Passive Communication
- Punishment is not a Component of Forgiveness **New 10/31**
- Receiving “Open, Honest Communication” Takes Courage
- Why Do Things Without Your Partner?
- Words and Actions
Hierarchy
- Descriptive Hierarchy is a Misnomer
- Dismantling Romantic Relationship Primacy
- Parallel Polyamory Sans Privilege
- Scarcity Language
Jealousy
- How Do I Manage My Partner’s Jealousy?
- It Might Be Grief
- Pocket Monster: Envy
- Secrets and Security
- What Does “Normal” Look Like in Non-Monogamy?
Kitchen-Table Polyamory
Metamours
- Courageous Conversations
- Meeting the Metas
- Parallel Polyamory Sans Privilege
- The Metamour Connection
- Your Metamour is Not the Problem
Newcomers
- 5 Things Every Newbie Needs to Watch Out For
- Building Obstacles to Autonomy
- Compersion
- Established Relationship Energy
- Is Dating Harder for Men in Non-Monogamy?
- Looking Out for Newcomers to Ethical Non-Monogamy
- Meeting the Metas
- Negotiating New Relationships
- New Relationship Energy
- Privacy is a Fundamental Right in Relationships
- Rules vs. Boundaries
- Support Networks
- We All Make Mistakes
- What Do I Ask a Potential New Partner?
- When to Disclose
Normalizing Non-Monogamy
- 7 Things Not To Say to a Polyamorous Person
- Coming Out as Non-Monogamous
- Desperately Seeking Normal
- Telling The Kids
- What It Looks Like
- Your Doctor Needs to Know
Polysaturation
Rules
- Building Obstacles to Autonomy
- Rules vs. Boundaries
- The Need to Know
- What’s Considered “Cheating” in Non-Monogamy?
Self Work
- Acting out of Trust vs. Fear
- Dismantling Romantic Relationship Primacy
- Feelings Are Not Facts
- Forgiving Yourself in Relationships
- Gratitude
- Imposter Syndrome: I am so bad at poly!
- It Might Be Grief
- Perspectives on Special
- Punishment is not a Component of Forgiveness
- Receiving “Open, Honest Communication” Takes Courage
- Refining Personal Boundaries
- Scarcity and Abundance Mindsets
- Self-Love Languages
- Sometimes I’m Lonely
- The Big Ask
- The Heart is a Muscle
- We All Make Mistakes
- Why Do Things Without Your Partner?
Sex
Privacy
- Great Sexpectations
- Privacy is a Fundamental Right in Relationships
- Rules vs. Boundaries
- The Need to Know
Miscellaneous Essays/Other
- Assume the Best
- BIPOC Voices in Non-Monogamy **Updated: July 16th, 2022**
- Five Whole Years