It is really hard to ask for what you want. This isn't just a relationship issue - it's a fear issue. We don't want to want more of someone than they want to give us. In polyamory, sometimes the stakes feel even higher because my partners have other partners and do not risk being alone [...]
One of the reasons I write this blog is to contribute in whatever small way I can to the normalization of polyamory. I want the way I love to not be weird to people. It feels normal to me, but at times I'm struck by how my treatment of it as normal is seen as [...]
A long time ago in a galaxy right next door to the one I'm in, I learned an important lesson about setting and enforcing boundaries. As a poly person, I've had ample opportunities to practice all I've learned in that regard. So today I'm writing about boundaries and how they differ from rules in relationships. [...]
A challenge I face as a polyamorous person in a primarily monogamous society is working to unlearn what my culture has taught me about certain concepts. One of the things that keeps coming up for me is the idea that a place or event or experience is special and that if it is shared with more [...]
Words matter. Words matter so, so much. In general, our most oft used ones are created by and evolve to suit the needs of the dominant group. Those who practice polyamory are at times limited by connotations, hidden meanings, and the implied expectations that exist in the common language we use to talk about our [...]
If you have landed on this page, please click here to read a more current version of this essay: Honesty Isn't Harmful I say this to those closest to me quite a bit: you can't hurt me with the truth. What I mean by this is: More information is better - because I don't know [...]
**Originally written in 2016, this posted was updated in July of 2024. One of my favorite poly-epiphanies is this: my partners are with me because they want to be. There is magic in that. Once upon a time, I was in a long-term monogamous marriage. As I reflect on that period in my life, I [...]
Poly With a Big Heart 