Guest Blog: Pitfalls of Passive Communication

Stop me if you've heard this before: “In a healthy relationship, it's all about communication, communication, communication!” I really should add a fourth one in there because there are Four Basic Types of Communication: Passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive, and assertive. One of the least understood is passive communication and as such, it can be a sneaky [...]

Happy Polydays!

Forgive me for the play on words. It couldn't be helped. 'Tis the season! It's a sentimental time. The observation of traditions, time off work, exchanging of gifts, sharing food and space, and a connection to something larger than ourselves - whether that be God, or family, or love, or stringing more than two days [...]

When to Disclose

When do I tell someone I'm interested in that I'm polyamorous? I see this question posed a lot in online forums when the topic of dating is up for discussion. My answer is very simple: first thing. I'm on one or two online dating sites, and my status as a non-monogamous person is very clearly [...]

The Metamour Connection

I have two very different romantic relationships: an open relationship with a woman whose other partnerships are pursued without any obligation to me as far as notification and whose love interests I rarely meet until they become more serious, and a more structured relationship with a man whose love interests I am well aware of [...]

Scarcity Language

Words matter. Words matter so, so much. In general, our most oft used ones are created by and evolve to suit the needs of the dominant group. Those who practice polyamory are at times limited by connotations, hidden meanings, and the implied expectations that exist in the common language we use to talk about our [...]

Secrets and Security

I'm going to go out on a limb and say that secrets are almost always colored with pain. When people feel some level of insecurity in their own relationships, that feeling is intensified by witnessing relationships that don't fit their idea of what's normal and safe. Because if I'm doing something that looks scary, (say [...]