There was a time I believed being as alike as possible to someone was the key to romantic harmony. I considered becoming a single entity the goal of a long term relationship. Two beings, very in love, forming an unbreakable bond in which they lose sight of any sense of self and become one. Having [...]
If you’re active in any form of non-monogamous community, you’ve likely come across the term “Relationship Anarchy” with increasing frequency. With that, you’ve undoubtedly heard conflicting ideas of what it actually is. Unfortunately, more and more impressions seem to be negative and most appear to be rooted in anecdotal evidence and/or assumptions. There will always [...]
I’m in an obnoxious amount of non-monogamy focused groups on social media. So many, in fact, that the majority of activity online most days is speed-reading the same queries over and over from various newcomers. I do not attempt to answer even a quarter of them because there are plenty of folks out there with [...]
Not long ago, I connected with a guy on a dating app who laughed when I mentioned I retain most of my former partners as friends. He made it a point to let me know that he was certainly not friends with any of his former partners. I almost unmatched him on the spot! Instead, [...]
In nearly every corner of the nonmonogamous community at the moment, you’ll find a rousing debate about how folks should be structuring their time with partners who they do not also share a living space with. With most of the world attempting some type of self-isolation to flatten the curve, there is no shortage of [...]
Chemistry and compatibility are tricky things in relationships. Whether you’re mono or non-mono, you’ll likely come across someone you are super compatible with, but the connection just lacks that “va-va-voom”. Or someone that gives you the most intense case of being twitterpated . . . only to find out there are some massive compatibility issues. [...]
First in a two-part series covering both New Relationship Energy and Established Relationship Energy, this blog will focus on the former. New relationship energy, or NRE, is the feeling of limerence associated with a new, chemistry-heavy connection between folks in the beginning of their relationship. It is born of a combination of brain chemicals that [...]
If you’re a frequent reader of this blog, you may have noticed the common thread of autonomy and how it applies to various types of relationships. Rusty and I strive to practice it in our relationships and encourage others to do the same. At its core, autonomy is what this entire blog is about. The [...]
The heart is a muscle. That’s a statement of obvious anatomy, but I think of the metaphorical heart as a muscle as well. One that flexes and contracts with a smooth strength as it navigates the emotional boot camp that non-monogamy can be at times. When you’re keeping pace to it’s beat and the endorphins [...]
In a perfect world, coming out wouldn’t be necessary; we would feel free to be our authentic selves and live our lives without negative consequences. But in most of the world, negative consequences are a valid fear for many. Let’s not dismiss those. You may have heard horror stories: being ostracized by family, the vengeful [...]
Poly With a Big Heart 