Lately, I’ve become enamored with the idea that we have a language we prefer to care for ourselves in. If you’re not familiar with The 5 Love Languages, take a moment to check them out and maybe even take their short quiz. Caveat: it’s incredibly mononormative, but many non-monogamous folks have found it useful. Take [...]
There are those outside of the non-monogamous community who see it as a sure-fire cure for loneliness. All the partners all the time! Lol, no. I am here to tell you that is far from the case. Sometimes I’m super lonely; sometimes we all are. When I share this sentiment in the circles I frequent, [...]
There are a lot of words we use in the practice of ethical non-monogamy (and that I use here on my blog) that may not translate well in most circles. Language evolves to suit the society it's used by, and that is as it should be, but I'm not a fan of how some folks [...]
Stop me if you've heard this before: “In a healthy relationship, it's all about communication, communication, communication!” I really should add a fourth one in there because there are Four Basic Types of Communication: Passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive, and assertive. One of the least understood is passive communication and as such, it can be a sneaky [...]
I recently had an epiphany related to an insecurity I have. I fear losing what I don't actively attach to when access to that thing is under the control of someone else. For example, if I were to only ever eat cake when my friend Susan made it, I would fear losing access to cake [...]
Not too long ago, I was asked what the term "partner" meant to me. I think I said it was feeling like I was part of a team working towards the common goal of a healthy relationship. I recently realized a critical component of that for me is accepting and working with the aspects of [...]
Forgive me for the play on words. It couldn't be helped. 'Tis the season! It's a sentimental time. The observation of traditions, time off work, exchanging of gifts, sharing food and space, and a connection to something larger than ourselves - whether that be God, or family, or love, or stringing more than two days [...]
One of the reasons I write this blog is to contribute in whatever small way I can to the normalization of polyamory. I want the way I love to not be weird to people. It feels normal to me, but at times I'm struck by how my treatment of it as normal is seen as [...]
I have two very different romantic relationships: an open relationship with a woman whose other partnerships are pursued without any obligation to me as far as notification and whose love interests I rarely meet until they become more serious, and a more structured relationship with a man whose love interests I am well aware of [...]
A challenge I face as a polyamorous person in a primarily monogamous society is working to unlearn what my culture has taught me about certain concepts. One of the things that keeps coming up for me is the idea that a place or event or experience is special and that if it is shared with more [...]
Poly With a Big Heart 