It is really hard to ask for what you want. This isn't just a relationship issue - it's a fear issue. We don't want to want more of someone than they want to give us. In polyamory, sometimes the stakes feel even higher because my partners have other partners and do not risk being alone [...]
One of the reasons I write this blog is to contribute in whatever small way I can to the normalization of polyamory. I want the way I love to not be weird to people. It feels normal to me, but at times I'm struck by how my treatment of it as normal is seen as [...]
I have two very different romantic relationships: an open relationship with a woman whose other partnerships are pursued without any obligation to me as far as notification and whose love interests I rarely meet until they become more serious, and a more structured relationship with a man whose love interests I am well aware of [...]
A long time ago in a galaxy right next door to the one I'm in, I learned an important lesson about setting and enforcing boundaries. As a poly person, I've had ample opportunities to practice all I've learned in that regard. So today I'm writing about boundaries and how they differ from rules in relationships. [...]
A challenge I face as a polyamorous person in a primarily monogamous society is working to unlearn what my culture has taught me about certain concepts. One of the things that keeps coming up for me is the idea that a place or event or experience is special and that if it is shared with more [...]
Jealousy is a thing, peeps. It is the dead horse beaten on a regular basis when discussions of polyamory are on the table, but that's because It Is A Thing. And it's not the biggest monster in my closet . . . but I have one - it's just more like a pocket monster. I carry [...]
Words matter. Words matter so, so much. In general, our most oft used ones are created by and evolve to suit the needs of the dominant group. Those who practice polyamory are at times limited by connotations, hidden meanings, and the implied expectations that exist in the common language we use to talk about our [...]
I am dealing with a medical issue in my damn hand that makes it very hard to type, so this week's post is going to lean pretty heavily on an external link I think everyone should look at. It's one I've shared on social media a couple of times, but I will continue to sing [...]
Most of my friends identify as monogamous. They are lovely and caring and only want to see me happy! I am delighted to have them ask me questions about ethical non-monogamy, open relationships, and polyamory. Every now and again during the course of these discussions, someone will say something to me that I'm sure feels [...]
If you have landed on this page, please click here to read a more current version of this essay: Strengthening Relationships with Courageous Conversations One of the practices I've found helpful as a polyamorous person is the having of courageous conversations. I like to call them this as opposed to "difficult discussions" because I want to [...]
Poly With a Big Heart 