Traditional dating within a monogamous framework has somewhat of a script to work with . . . Do you have/want children? Are you a smoker? What’s your attitude towards therapy? Did you vote for Trump? Twice? Most of us know ourselves well enough to know what will render a prospective partner fundamentally incompatible and asking [...]
As non-monogamous relationships become more socially acceptable, greater numbers of people are curious about whether or not it’s for them. While exploring, they seek community support and trusted resources. Social media groups are a great place to find like-minded people with valuable experience. You can ask questions of others from all walks of life: lifelong [...]
I’m sure you’ve heard the key to a successful relationship is “open, honest communication.” While these terms mean something different to nearly everyone, most can agree that a situation in which openness and honesty are met with negative consequences is hardly conducive to trying again and again to achieve it. Unfortunately, this often happens when [...]
If your partner struggles with jealousy, you’ve probably asked yourself: “How can I keep my partner from feeling this way?” or “How do I help my partner manage this?” It’s perfectly natural to want to save the day with solutions, particularly if you’re having an easier time of it than they are. It can feel [...]
If you’re active in any form of non-monogamous community, you’ve likely come across the term “Relationship Anarchy” with increasing frequency. With that, you’ve undoubtedly heard conflicting ideas of what it actually is. Unfortunately, more and more impressions seem to be negative and most appear to be rooted in anecdotal evidence and/or assumptions. There will always [...]
After so many years, this pet project of mine has grown to 60+ entries, and I have no plans to stop . . . but that means the traditional blog format leaves something to be desired. If you're happy perusing blog content in a chronological format, please scroll at your leisure. But if you, like [...]
I appreciate the concept of polysaturation, a piece of wordplay I both admire for its cleverness and find useful in the discussion of non-monogamy, but I prefer to consider being spread too thin overall since the bandwidth I have for a relationship of any sort is entirely dependent on what else is going on in [...]
Privacy. That thing where you get to choose how much of your personal life is on display, yeah? Privacy is pretty critical to one’s emotional well-being and sense of safety. We depend on those close to us to keep our confidence, and there is a reasonable expectation of privacy when we allow ourselves to be [...]
When you view your partners, and yourself, as autonomous individuals who exist in proximity to each other but aren’t defined by it, you’re rewarded with relationships based on secure connections between adults.
Love is abundant and not a zero sum game. That is, loving others will never reduce what’s available for others. We experience this all the time with friends, children, siblings, etc. It truly is an infinite resource. But while love is an infinite resource, our lives are full of others that are. Regardless of your [...]
Poly With a Big Heart 